Double H's vacation

Subject: Double H's vacation Wed Jun 08, 2011 12:10 pm

Unknown location
7:00am
2 days before Reawakened.

Muhammed Hassan wakes up, he looks around and becomes confused. 'Fever' by The Cramps is faintly playing on a record player that is sitting on the floor oddly. He is in a hotel room, not the kind you'd find in America however. He groggily lifts himself from the couch and begins to inspect, he has no idea where on earth he is. Single H bursts into the room from a doorway and laughs.

THE CONTROLLER
SINGLE H
Oh hey buddy, I was wondering when you were gonna wake up!

Hassan looks at Single H with a face of utter dismay.

THE ARABIAN WARRIOR
MUHAMMED HASSAN
Jake, what the FUCK is going on?!

THE CONTROLLER
SINGLE H
I took us on vacation! Of course, you wouldn't want to come if you had the choice... So I've had you on a steady dose of tranquilisers until we got here, in AFRICA!!!

Muhammed holds his head and stares, wide eyed at Single H who is smiling and holding his arms out, supposedly expecting a good reaction from this news.

THE ARABIAN WARRIOR
MUHAMMED HASSAN
...We're in AFRICA!!!!???

THE CONTROLLER
SINGLE H
Well aren't you happy to be back in your home country?

Hassan's face sinks into his hands and he takes a deep breath.

THE ARABIAN WARRIOR
MUHAMMED HASSAN
I'm an arab you dunce... Just please tell me you have a plane ticket back so we can defend out titles at Reawakened.

THE CONTROLLER
SINGLE H
Of course! What kind of idiot would...

Single H's face goes chalk white. He desparately looks around his pocket and pulls out lint. Hassan looks at Single H in complete shock.

THE CONTROLLER
SINGLE H
Ut-oh...

Muhammed raises his fist at Single H but then thinks better of it.

THE ARABIAN WARRIOR
MUHAMMED HASSAN
Jake, I would hit you so hard right now. But we need to figure out a way to get back home!

Hassan leaves the hotel closely followed by Single H, SH pays for the room and get's into a vehicle in the parking lot, it is what appears to be a worn-down, rusty army land rover.

THE ARABIAN WARRIOR
MUHAMMED HASSAN
What the hell is that?

Hassan slowly gets into the rover, looking embarrassed.

THE CONTROLLER
SINGLE H
It's my sweet ride.

Hassan looks like he is about to say something bad about the rover but he is cut off.

THE CONTROLLER
SINGLE H
And don't argue against it.

He adjusts the mirror and starts up the vehicle.

THE CONTROLLER
SINGLE H
Indiana Jones has one of these, so yeah.

Hassan shakes his head and they begin to drive towards the nearest African airport. Muhammed Hassan begins to interrogate Single H on the whole situation.

THE ARABIAN WARRIOR
MUHAMMED HASSAN
Jake, what made you think this was gonna be a good idea?

THE CONTROLLER
SINGLE H
I don't know man, I noticed we were having a few problems in our relationship and everything so y'know, I thought this would be a good bonding experience for both of us.

Hassan cups his head in his hands.

THE ARABIAN WARRIOR
MUHAMMED HASSAN
I feel terrible...

Hassan reaches and then grabs a bucket and is sick. SH laughs.

THE CONTROLLER
SINGLE H
Yeah, that's probably a mix of all the beer you drank last night, and the effects of where I rufied you.

THE ARABIAN WARRIOR
MUHAMMED HASSAN
YOU DID WHA-

THE CONTROLLER
SINGLE H
I just wanted you to be happy... Besides, you're a lot cooler when your drunk.

Hassan looks at Single H in complete disbelief and then continues to throw up in a bucket.

TBC - MUHAMMED HASSAN

Posts : 5 Reputation : 0 Join date : 2011-05-07

Muhammad places the bucket between his legs and whips what's left on his mouth.

THE ARABIAN WARRIOR
MUHAMMAD HASSAN
You drugged me, kidnapped me and intoxicated me.

Single H immediately responds.

THE CONTROLLER
SINGLE H
You make that sound like a bad thing.

Muhammad Hassan, now more furious than ever, shouts at Single H.

THE ARABIAN WARRIOR
MUHAMMAD HASSAN
IT IS! Give me one good reason why I shouldn't beat the crap out of you.

A short pause, before Single H realizes that Muhammad Hassan is expecting an answer.

THE CONTROLLER
SINGLE H
Because I'm driving.

Muhammad takes a deep breath.

THE ARABIAN WARRIOR
MUHAMMAD HASSAN
I've heard of this: God places adversities in the path of those he love.

Single H replies in an intrigued voice.

THE CONTROLLER
SINGLE H
God must have a huge crush on Lindsy Lohan.

Muhammad bites his tongue to prevent himself from laughing, but a little chuckle comes out.

Five Minutes Later

THE CONTROLLER
SINGLE H
Look at this! Burger King in Africa. Aren't they supposed to be starving here or something?

Single H pulls over as Hassan responds.

THE ARABIAN WARRIOR
MUHAMMAD HASSAN
Well, that depends on wh... What am I doing? I might aswell instruct a fish through a maze.

THE CONTROLLER
SINGLE H
How would you get the fish into the maze?

Hassan places his palm over his face and shakes his head. He lifts up his head to see Single H taking off his seat belt.

THE ARABIAN WARRIOR
MUHAMMAD HASSAN
You aren't seriously stopping here, are you? We have championships to defend in two days.

Single H gets out of the car, ignoring Hassan. The latter follows him.

THE ARABIAN WARRIOR
MUHAMMAD HASSAN
Speaking of the championships, where the hell are they?

Single H enters Burger King, followed by Hassan.

THE CONTROLLER
SINGLE H
I couldn't get them past airport security. Damn TSA!

THE ARABIAN WARRIOR
MUHAMMAD HASSAN
You can't be serious.

Ignoring Hassan, Single H reaches the counter.

Subject: Re: Double H's vacation Thu Jun 09, 2011 2:13 pm

THE CONTROLLER
SINGLE H
Yeah, I'll take a double whopper with cheese, large fries and a coke.

The guy at the till types the order into the till then turns to Hassan.

DO YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT?
THE CASHIER
And you sir?

THE ARABIAN WARRIOR
MUHAMMED HASSAN
Oh nothing for me, thanks.

They both sit down at a table. Single H stuffs his face with food.

THE ARABIAN WARRIOR
MUHAMMED HASSAN
You're gonna get fired for losing those titles, you know that right?

THE CONTROLLER
SINGLE H
I didn't lose em, airport security is just keeping them until we go and claim them back! Calm down man this is all gonna be fine.

THE ARABIAN WARRIOR
MUHAMMED HASSAN
But how are you going to pay for the flight back? I'm guessing you spent the rest of your money on that disguesting... Food.

Single H thinks to himself. He sees a man in front of their table in a business suit, a large briefcase is sitting next to him. Hassan looks at Single H, confused.

THE ARABIAN WARRIOR
MUHAMMED HASSAN
What are you looking at? Answer my question Jake.

Single H slowly puts down his burger. He moves over to the man in the business suit. Hassan mutters the words: "Oh god" under his breath and looks on.

THE CONTROLLER
SINGLE H
That's a nice breifcase you got there... What's in it?

The man lowers his shades.

COOLIO
BUSINESS MAN
A hell of a lot of money dude, don't touch.

SH smiles.

THE CONTROLLER
SINGLE H
THANKS ASSHOLE!!!

Single H swoops up the breifcase and runs, with nowhere to go Hassan smashes the window and dashes after SH. They both get in the car and drive off fast. As they are speeding along a long and empty motorway, Single H is looking through the stolen briefcase. Hassan is panting appears to be in a cold sweat.

THE ARABIAN WARRIOR
MUHAMMED HASSAN
YOU FUCKING IDIOTIC MORON! WHAT THE FUCK POSSESSED YOU TO DO THAT!!!???

THE CONTROLLER
SINGLE H
Hey calm down, there's millions in here, more than enough to pay for the flight home!

Hassan looks like he is about to cry. About 20 miles on, the pair are forced to stop to refill the petrol tanks.

THE ARABIAN WARRIOR
MUHAMMED HASSAN
I'll go in and pay, you just stay here ok?

Single H is standing there waiting for Hassan to be done paying when he hears the faint sound of a police siren. He screams and Hassan understands the signal. With no choice, Hassan runs from the petrol station without paying and they drive as fast as they can.

TBC - HASSAN

» Double H backstage.